Then she ran and came to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him.” Peter therefore went out, and the other disciple, and were going to the tomb. So they both ran together, and the other disciple outran Peter and came to the tomb first. (John 20:2-4 NKJV)
I've been finding myself in a weird place lately. That no matter how many hours I spend studying the Word of God, in church or in personal prayer, no matter how many services I attend or hours I serve I can often find myself feeling like the efforts I put in are inadequate. That my worship to God will never be quite enough, that my service won't cut it, or that there's always someone "outdoing" me for the Kingdom of God. I know I'm not alone in this. I know I'm not the only one who's striving to be the best disciple they can be, and often losing sight of the big picture.
So often we put this pressure on ourselves to be this shadow of a Christian that we think God needs when He already approves of us. God already approves of me. God already is pleased with me. He, right now, is completely in love with who I am, who I have been and who I will become.
We so often think we need to be this prominent, trailblazing figure for God like Peter (the rock on which He built His church, come on now.) In this passage, I'm reminded that Jesus is just looking for those who love Him, like the other disciple. Those who are so passionate and devoted to Him that they can't help but run to Him.
We mustn't get so stuck in who we think we need to be and just love God. Just chase after God. Keep Him the focus and stop trying to prove yourself to Him, but run so fast towards Him that those you pass by start running too. The truth is, nothing that we ever do will ever be worthy enough, but everything that we are already is.
You are the one whom Jesus loves. That will always be more than enough.
2nd Year Student Blogger